Let’s go get em….

So how am i feeling today… up and down… up and down… up and down…. focusing like a camera lense… tuning like an old radio… levelling on a set of scales… finding the balance….

Lots going on in the head… would i be as good as this over a decade a go at tackling a wobble…. no…. older and wiser? Who knows… i really can’t say….

Worried about friends… worried i don’t do enough for them… try to doing more… getting fitter personally and for those important to me… almost back to where i was physically before surgery… i can see the next stage to getting to that and beyond… something i could not have seen at the beginning of this year….

I just needed to write a few words down really, i have plenty of others i could rant on about… but thats another blog entry for that… where i can discuss empires in social media… where groups suddenly become organisations on the strength of a facebook group membership… etc etc…

But for now i just wanted to say a few simple things from the heart… with the re-assurance that the people that know me know i never bullshit, i never lie… and what i say i mean……

It’s been a few fun filled years because of grief, my struggle with self belief, confidence and illness……

Like anyone i wobble, like anyone i can feel the legs go weak and i have to work through it… we all do that… every single one of us… but it’s making sure you do that is always the key thing….

But i’m still here…. the shields are charging OK…. all systems are almost back to full power….

Let’s go get em…..

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By eck… It’s been a while…

And there was I thinking I would not do a blog entry again… I did seriously think that…. after all I have never been a huge blogger, probably mostly out of laziness. If I could get a good voice dictation software bundle I would be lazy enough to use it I spose… but then I’m too lazy with getting one of them as well, although I like mucking around with google voice on my steam-driven smart phone…. usually while sitting in the car waiting for mike to get off the train…



So what will be the main thrust of this blog then…. apart from a little bit of a moan maybe…. well it’s about being useful….. being of use… I suppose you could wrap it around when do you feel you have gone past your useful state….

The subject came up a few months back when someone suggested to me that i should stay away from getting more involved again…. and they echoed it again the other day…. “Don’t get involved again Denise”, “The young won’t like it….”, “You are too old to be getting back into it….”, “Go find some friends….”, “Go be an area rep for RSPB or something….”

This was from someone who is 68………

I’m 47…..

I haven’t exactly reached the scrap heap yet… in fact this year as I embark with Mike on a fitness and weight loss kick that has already started to achieve something I am actually starting to feel a bit fitter and a lot more focused then I have for ages… I lapsed into the depths with a combination of health issues around my ticker that in turn stopped me being in active mode which in turn took me down the slippery road of getting steadily worse fit wise… along with a loss of self-worth, what with I feel a bit of switching off after my mum died and also being burned out…

I was burned out with Spectrum… I needed to get away from that… and sometimes it takes a while to regroup, and a good while to get around the mistake you have at actually putting yourself at the bottom of the list, everyone goes above you… and you fall into the trap of just ignoring yourself…

So it’s been a bit of a discovery getting back… but at 47 I’m not actually dead yet… and anyway the goddess of all advice is a flipping old bag of wind….. who’s liberal wishy-washy way of just letting everything be and not making waves while bashing them “activists” is rather tiresome…. so nope… I’m not going to stop getting more involved… I’m already involved… I just took a bit of a back seat…. but now I’m gonna be far louder… and that… just might mean I will have to blog a bit more too…. 🙂

But rest assured this blog will continue to not be like other blogs that wanna focus on the negative stuff… the buzzwords will be empowerment, balance, self-worth, even when I do have a bit of a moan they will be in there somewhere….

So to the windbag…. I’m moving full pelt forwards… there’s no stopping me now….. 😉

Posted in Empowerment, Everyday, Everyday Normal, Honesty, Identity, Pride, Respect, Support | Leave a comment

Call to Action: Care Quality Commission inspection of Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust

I can’t say this any better so all i can is simply reblog and urge people to share this far and wide, it’s time for people to become more involved. We have said this for years, we have pushed for people to be more empowered, and this is just another example where that has to happen.

Please send in your experiences…

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A new support group for SOFFAs in Manchester. UK

Great to be able to share these detailsis out, when people come out as trans then it can become a massive load on someone they know and love too, and one of the best ways to be able to share fears and concerns and to learn from other peoples experience is to have a support group that can bring people together for that purpose.

Here’s a new group starting in Manchester:

A new meeting in Manchester for the SOFFAs (Significant
Others, Friends, Family and Allies) of Trans people

Me & T Manchester is a supportive space for the partners,
family and friends of people who are trans or exploring
their gender, providing an opportunity to meet other
people who may have similar experiences, questions or

Meetings will take place on the first Tuesday of
the month.

First meeting : Tuesday 6th May 2014 at:
The LGF, 5, Richmond Street, Manchester M1 3HF
7:30 pm to 9pm

There will be tea and cake (any cake & biscuit donations
would be most welcome)

Any queries please feel free to contact us at


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Remembering those that have fallen



Apologies for not being here and writing like i have in the past as much, and i will make up for that.

It is a sad post as well that i write after hearing of another lass that has sadly taken her life due to peoples abuse and ignorance taking their toll and passing this around like others have to raise awareness and to keep her name alive.

We have no real idea just how many trans people take their own lives because they are unable to face the bullying and discrimination that is a daily part of their lives because it is not the kind of thing that is openly reported. In the UK  several extensive surveys have found that 1 in 3 trans people attempt to commit suicide and many of us in the circles of trans people have lost friends we have known over the years that could not take the abuse they were receiving and the difficulties they were facing.

Jordan Howe was just 19 years old when she ended her life . She was from Northern Ireland, a huge Lady Gaga fan and also a talented DJ. The picture above was drawn by her to try to express her feelings about being a trans girl, and is taken from this Tumblr memorial by one of her friends.

Jordans name needs to be remembered with the many others that have ended up passing away taking their lives, just as much as those that have died due to violence that we remember on Trans day of Remembrance.

RIP Jordan, you are with the other angels now…


Posted in Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Hatecrime, Respect, Transphobia, Transsexual, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.      Lord Chamberlain

Some excellent words there that could sum up so much of everything we do on an everyday basis…

And like anyone else I’m just as bad at not doing that… my long break between blog entries serves as a reminder 🙂

Do the hoovering tomorrow, oh do a clothes wash tomorrow, fill in an application form tomorrow, ring up a good friend you haven’t spoken to tomorrow.

I broke the mould on the last one which was excellent and got to catch up with a dear friend i hadn’t spoken to for ages, and i was a bit emotional after i have to say. I’m just as guilty over the years of never following my own advice, it is after all they say… human to do so.

Seize the moment I hear people say, grab it with both hands says another, don’t look back on wasted chances, wasted time… so many words said, so many clichés uttered… and in there many wise words too.

Coming up to a decade ago i was rather in a wasted zone of personal life, my self esteem was at an all time low… i really couldn’t give a crap very much about myself… i tried to do something rather silly and made it through the other side, yep i didn’t get that one right and i couldn’t see a way forward. There was one of course and through someone else who made me see there was i did finally seized the moment, by someone that didn’t know me who had the foresight to be able to see what i needed to see. This someone who is still a dear friend and i will add still inspires me every day had been through the school of hard knocks, smashed on through the wall and back out into the light, and today she still does that… and inspires me and many others to try and do the same…. to get people to see that any barrier can be breached, any wall can be broken, any problem can be solved… but in order to do it you need to own the issue, and strive to get to the end of the problem and beyond.

So… if you have an issue you have to resolved go do it, if you want to help change something go join in and do it…. don’t look for that excuse to wait til tomorrow because if you do tomorrow may just never come along… and you’ll end up in the world of the groundhog… and although groundhogs are quite fluffy and huggable… the won’t compensate for you not achieving what you need to do…..

Don’t look for excuses…. cos that’s too easy… go try, do, achieve and kick ass while doing it….




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CRG recruitment: Clinical Reference Groups: Patient and Carer Member Recruitment Launched

So…… fancy applying for this anyone…. it’s worth a chance if you want to get involved, don’t be put off… you won’t know if you don’t try…. 🙂

The NHS Commissioning Board (NHS CB) has opened the application process for patient and carer members of its 74 Clinical Reference Groups for 2013/14.

CRGs are responsible for providing the NHS CB with clinical advice regarding specialised services, and for promoting equity of access to high quality services for all patients, regardless of where they live. CRGs are also at the forefront of the drive to spearhead innovation, working with clinical leaders, patients and suppliers to identify and promote best practice; scanning the horizon for new treatment approaches; and taking action to improve patient experience and outcomes in the NHS.

This is an exciting time to join a CRG, as they take their place within the new commissioning structures of the NHS. The accompanying Guide to CRGs and Information Pack for Patients and Carers will provide you with more, detailed information about their work; where they sit within the NHS CB, and what it means to be a patient and carer member of a CRG. If you are interested in applying to be a patient or carer member, you will also find an application form which you can complete online. The closing date for applications for membership is 26 April 2013.

To find out more about becoming a patient or carer member of one of these groups, please go to http://www.commissioningboard.nhs.uk/ourwork/d-com/spec-serv/crg/ where you will find a Guide to CRGs, an Information Pack and application form.

Posted in Activism, Campaign, Empowerment, Equality, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, Respect, Trans, Trans Activism, Transgender, Transphobia, Transsexual | Tagged , | Leave a comment