Let’s go get em….

So how am i feeling today… up and down… up and down… up and down…. focusing like a camera lense… tuning like an old radio… levelling on a set of scales… finding the balance….

Lots going on in the head… would i be as good as this over a decade a go at tackling a wobble…. no…. older and wiser? Who knows… i really can’t say….

Worried about friends… worried i don’t do enough for them… try to doing more… getting fitter personally and for those important to me… almost back to where i was physically before surgery… i can see the next stage to getting to that and beyond… something i could not have seen at the beginning of this year….

I just needed to write a few words down really, i have plenty of others i could rant on about… but thats another blog entry for that… where i can discuss empires in social media… where groups suddenly become organisations on the strength of a facebook group membership… etc etc…

But for now i just wanted to say a few simple things from the heart… with the re-assurance that the people that know me know i never bullshit, i never lie… and what i say i mean……

It’s been a few fun filled years because of grief, my struggle with self belief, confidence and illness……

Like anyone i wobble, like anyone i can feel the legs go weak and i have to work through it… we all do that… every single one of us… but it’s making sure you do that is always the key thing….

But i’m still here…. the shields are charging OK…. all systems are almost back to full power….

Let’s go get em…..

By eck… It’s been a while…

And there was I thinking I would not do a blog entry again… I did seriously think that…. after all I have never been a huge blogger, probably mostly out of laziness. If I could get a good voice dictation software bundle I would be lazy enough to use it I spose… but then I’m too lazy with getting one of them as well, although I like mucking around with google voice on my steam-driven smart phone…. usually while sitting in the car waiting for mike to get off the train…

Anyway….

Hello…..

So what will be the main thrust of this blog then…. apart from a little bit of a moan maybe…. well it’s about being useful….. being of use… I suppose you could wrap it around when do you feel you have gone past your useful state….

The subject came up a few months back when someone suggested to me that i should stay away from getting more involved again…. and they echoed it again the other day…. “Don’t get involved again Denise”, “The young won’t like it….”, “You are too old to be getting back into it….”, “Go find some friends….”, “Go be an area rep for RSPB or something….”

This was from someone who is 68………

I’m 47…..

I haven’t exactly reached the scrap heap yet… in fact this year as I embark with Mike on a fitness and weight loss kick that has already started to achieve something I am actually starting to feel a bit fitter and a lot more focused then I have for ages… I lapsed into the depths with a combination of health issues around my ticker that in turn stopped me being in active mode which in turn took me down the slippery road of getting steadily worse fit wise… along with a loss of self-worth, what with I feel a bit of switching off after my mum died and also being burned out…

I was burned out with Spectrum… I needed to get away from that… and sometimes it takes a while to regroup, and a good while to get around the mistake you have at actually putting yourself at the bottom of the list, everyone goes above you… and you fall into the trap of just ignoring yourself…

So it’s been a bit of a discovery getting back… but at 47 I’m not actually dead yet… and anyway the goddess of all advice is a flipping old bag of wind….. who’s liberal wishy-washy way of just letting everything be and not making waves while bashing them “activists” is rather tiresome…. so nope… I’m not going to stop getting more involved… I’m already involved… I just took a bit of a back seat…. but now I’m gonna be far louder… and that… just might mean I will have to blog a bit more too…. 🙂

But rest assured this blog will continue to not be like other blogs that wanna focus on the negative stuff… the buzzwords will be empowerment, balance, self-worth, even when I do have a bit of a moan they will be in there somewhere….

So to the windbag…. I’m moving full pelt forwards… there’s no stopping me now….. 😉

Call to Action: Care Quality Commission inspection of Imperial College Healthcare NHS Trust

I can’t say this any better so all i can is simply reblog and urge people to share this far and wide, it’s time for people to become more involved. We have said this for years, we have pushed for people to be more empowered, and this is just another example where that has to happen.

Please send in your experiences…

A new support group for SOFFAs in Manchester. UK

Great to be able to share these detailsis out, when people come out as trans then it can become a massive load on someone they know and love too, and one of the best ways to be able to share fears and concerns and to learn from other peoples experience is to have a support group that can bring people together for that purpose.

Here’s a new group starting in Manchester:

A new meeting in Manchester for the SOFFAs (Significant
Others, Friends, Family and Allies) of Trans people

Me & T Manchester is a supportive space for the partners,
family and friends of people who are trans or exploring
their gender, providing an opportunity to meet other
people who may have similar experiences, questions or
concerns.

Meetings will take place on the first Tuesday of
the month.

First meeting : Tuesday 6th May 2014 at:
The LGF, 5, Richmond Street, Manchester M1 3HF
7:30 pm to 9pm

There will be tea and cake (any cake & biscuit donations
would be most welcome)

Any queries please feel free to contact us at

Me.and.T.Manchester@gmail.com

Remembering those that have fallen

Hi…

Apologies for not being here and writing like i have in the past as much, and i will make up for that.

It is a sad post as well that i write after hearing of another lass that has sadly taken her life due to peoples abuse and ignorance taking their toll and passing this around like others have to raise awareness and to keep her name alive.

We have no real idea just how many trans people take their own lives because they are unable to face the bullying and discrimination that is a daily part of their lives because it is not the kind of thing that is openly reported. In the UK  several extensive surveys have found that 1 in 3 trans people attempt to commit suicide and many of us in the circles of trans people have lost friends we have known over the years that could not take the abuse they were receiving and the difficulties they were facing.

Jordan Howe was just 19 years old when she ended her life . She was from Northern Ireland, a huge Lady Gaga fan and also a talented DJ. The picture above was drawn by her to try to express her feelings about being a trans girl, and is taken from this Tumblr memorial by one of her friends.

Jordans name needs to be remembered with the many others that have ended up passing away taking their lives, just as much as those that have died due to violence that we remember on Trans day of Remembrance.

RIP Jordan, you are with the other angels now…

 

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.      Lord Chamberlain

Some excellent words there that could sum up so much of everything we do on an everyday basis…

And like anyone else I’m just as bad at not doing that… my long break between blog entries serves as a reminder 🙂

Do the hoovering tomorrow, oh do a clothes wash tomorrow, fill in an application form tomorrow, ring up a good friend you haven’t spoken to tomorrow.

I broke the mould on the last one which was excellent and got to catch up with a dear friend i hadn’t spoken to for ages, and i was a bit emotional after i have to say. I’m just as guilty over the years of never following my own advice, it is after all they say… human to do so.

Seize the moment I hear people say, grab it with both hands says another, don’t look back on wasted chances, wasted time… so many words said, so many clichés uttered… and in there many wise words too.

Coming up to a decade ago i was rather in a wasted zone of personal life, my self esteem was at an all time low… i really couldn’t give a crap very much about myself… i tried to do something rather silly and made it through the other side, yep i didn’t get that one right and i couldn’t see a way forward. There was one of course and through someone else who made me see there was i did finally seized the moment, by someone that didn’t know me who had the foresight to be able to see what i needed to see. This someone who is still a dear friend and i will add still inspires me every day had been through the school of hard knocks, smashed on through the wall and back out into the light, and today she still does that… and inspires me and many others to try and do the same…. to get people to see that any barrier can be breached, any wall can be broken, any problem can be solved… but in order to do it you need to own the issue, and strive to get to the end of the problem and beyond.

So… if you have an issue you have to resolved go do it, if you want to help change something go join in and do it…. don’t look for that excuse to wait til tomorrow because if you do tomorrow may just never come along… and you’ll end up in the world of the groundhog… and although groundhogs are quite fluffy and huggable… the won’t compensate for you not achieving what you need to do…..

Don’t look for excuses…. cos that’s too easy… go try, do, achieve and kick ass while doing it….

 

 

 

CRG recruitment: Clinical Reference Groups: Patient and Carer Member Recruitment Launched

So…… fancy applying for this anyone…. it’s worth a chance if you want to get involved, don’t be put off… you won’t know if you don’t try…. 🙂

The NHS Commissioning Board (NHS CB) has opened the application process for patient and carer members of its 74 Clinical Reference Groups for 2013/14.

CRGs are responsible for providing the NHS CB with clinical advice regarding specialised services, and for promoting equity of access to high quality services for all patients, regardless of where they live. CRGs are also at the forefront of the drive to spearhead innovation, working with clinical leaders, patients and suppliers to identify and promote best practice; scanning the horizon for new treatment approaches; and taking action to improve patient experience and outcomes in the NHS.

This is an exciting time to join a CRG, as they take their place within the new commissioning structures of the NHS. The accompanying Guide to CRGs and Information Pack for Patients and Carers will provide you with more, detailed information about their work; where they sit within the NHS CB, and what it means to be a patient and carer member of a CRG. If you are interested in applying to be a patient or carer member, you will also find an application form which you can complete online. The closing date for applications for membership is 26 April 2013.

To find out more about becoming a patient or carer member of one of these groups, please go to http://www.commissioningboard.nhs.uk/ourwork/d-com/spec-serv/crg/ where you will find a Guide to CRGs, an Information Pack and application form.

The tide is turning… It’s time to ride that wave…

It’s taken me a week or so to get around to writing a blog about press intrusion and the medias “monstering” of trans people, I think the story around Lucy Meadows has hit many of us hard, for me from the support side of things hearing of someone’s death is never nice.

We have no information currently around the cause of Lucy’s death and we won’t have any idea until the report from the coroner and associated inquest reconvenes at the end of May but the issues of media intrusion and “monstering” came to head as Lucy’s death took our thoughts back to some of the horrific press coverage she received several months ago.

The fact that Lucy’s life was questioned by Richard Littlejohn in such a cut thrust way was terrible to bear when many of us first read his column alone going back and reading through again, from someone who supposively has no problem with transgender people you would be forgiven wandering where that compassion and acceptance was.

There are countless blogs and articles out there to read from others such as Jane Fae,  Hannah Buchanan and Paris Lees to name a few along with the hard work being done around this issue by Trans Media Watch so there is no need for me to go into the semantics of what was said, but the way papers such as the Daily Mail took Lucy’s life at that time and looked at it through some very rose tinted microscopes before blasting their views for others to see was bad enough for us to read, so you can only imagine what they did to Lucy herself…

The story has galvanised many people in their thoughts and feelings around the media intrusion of transgender people, it has touched many people, both cis and trans and after the recent Leveson report and the continued barracking of trans people afterwards as though nothing has happened many people want answers as to why a minority of people are being treated as punchbags when other minorities would never be approached and treated in this way.

Several MPs have tabled an early day motion, which is as follows:

MISREPRESENTATION OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE IN THE MEDIA

Session: 2012-13
Date tabled: 26.03.2013
Primary sponsor: Huppert, Julian

Sponsors:

Bottomley, Peter
Lucas, Caroline

That this House condemns misrepresentation of transgender people in the British media; notes that some media organisations continue to misrepresent transgender people deliberately and publish their private information in spite of the findings of the Leveson report and in breach of the editors code; believes that such misrepresentation has an extremely damaging impact on those individuals who are named, on the wider transgender community and on the public’s perception of transgender people; condemns the harassment of transgender people, their families and colleagues, of which the experiences of Lucy Meadows are the latest; calls for the Press Complaints Commission to issue a public notice to editors immediately reminding them of their existing obligations under the letter and the spirit of the editors code when reporting transgender stories; further notes with concern that the reporting of Lucy Meadows reflects the wider culture of inappropriate language when it comes to stories relating to transgender people; and further calls for an immediate end to misrepresentation of transgender people in the press.

http://www.parliament.uk/edm/2012-13/1256

In order for this motion to gather weight then more MPs across the board need to support it, the more that do that and are willing to speak the better chance that a debate around this issue will happen and time will be set aside, there is a very good chance that several hours may become available… but to do this people need to contact their MPs and urge them to look at this subject and to support the motion… for many people this can feel daunting, for many trans people they feel as though this is something they cannot do, or that it will have little relevance and that nothing will happen…. all I can answer to that is if we don’t take these opportunities to engage with those that represent us then any chance can never even start to happen… the more of us that make our views known the more chance that they will be listened to…

I remember the positive wave of enthusiasm of trans people and their allies lobbying their MPs around the equality bill…. well we have another wave we can jump on and ride with others again… we have a chance to make a loud voice, made up of all our own individual voices and this can be something that we build upon, work together for this issue and others that affect us, to show the strength of our feelings and emotions…. that we will not accept being made to feel second best, to feel worthless… and that we have a right like everyone else to live our lives to the best and happiest we can be….

What better way to remember Lucy, and others like herself then to fight for some dignity and respect…. it’s not a lot to ask for eh?

Take Care

Terminology… the stumbling block to working together…

I just wanted to touch base on an oldie again because I see this issue as utterly important to try and tackle more to move forward and let me really stress the point here, never has there been more an important time to start to work together more and try and create a united front… because there’s a lot of stuff to be working on…

Now some of you will immediately start saying but surely things are bright and beautiful, we have bright and shiny and pretty role models out there, trans people are getting awards and never have we been so better off in visible terms…. yes in some areas we are much more visible, the media side of things has touched people… it’s a lot more in your face and that’s fine but I’m talking the real fleshy issues we still have to tackle, and that requires muscle… that requires numbers, sheer numbers of people stepping up to the plate…. side by side, working together…

But what is the common denominator for holding ourselves back…..? Ourselves

And how do we get bogged down so much when we do manage to get people together to talk about issues………?        Terminology

Labels…..

Where we fit in a spectrum….

We, and it’s definitely a case of saying we are our own worse enemies…. them and us within our own spectrum causes so much upset, so much infighting, so much time consuming moments that we just don’t move forward at the pace we could do…. and we can move forward by actually starting to get our own house in order… and it is achievable, as proven at a workshop at the LGBT Health summit last year, one of the ground rules was to leave terminology at the door, along with respecting differences and other people in the room… it worked… it was a productive workshop, a workshop chatting about looking at a national forum, a trans national forum, and we managed to go through that workshop generating good ideas and discussion, and feedback without ripping each others heads off….

But we need to try and continue that vibe… respect our differences, understand our similarities and aim for the common goal… as until we can really get that s*** together it’s difficult to expect non trans people to just be able to… after all if we can’t… why should they?

Welcome to a not so new new blog…

Hi 🙂

Welcome to anyone new picking this blog up, and familiar faces too… I warn you it’s different because I will spin things I want to talk about from my viewpoint… and you say what is new about that in a blog…. it isn’t, but I don’t tend to toe the party line, but at the same time have no desire to make you want to watch me every time I throw toys out of a pram… all i ever hope when i post something in here is that people who have taken the time to read a post get something out of it, i.e…. I want you to just have a quick think, and if it strikes a chord then cool, if it doesn’t then equally cool… I just want to be able to say that sometimes the typical be all and end all reaction that seems to happen when someone perceives we are under attack isn’t always the way… that doesn’t mean I’m some bleeding liberal… hey I’ve been accused of being a leftie which I’m not either… I don’t care a stuff for politics because it doesn’t matter what party someone represents it’s whether what they say they will do actually happens and whether when they actually say they are listening that they do that… they can be blue, red, orange, green whatever I have no interest, just that they do the job for the people they claim to want to do it for… that’s the most political I get…

So why the title change…. there are various elements to this, guided a lot through my circumstances… having to take a step back a bit due to health had made me take stock, having to sit things out has allowed me to take a more chilled view… that doesn’t mean a far from view, it means I can sit back and say… “Hey… that really is a sack of crap isn’t it…”

I haven’t lost any passion, in fact in some ways I’m more annoyed, but more annoyed at the apathy of people, or the rush to follow the leader from behind a set of words, with little direct action… but hey I’ve always known that anyway, after all the years of one way support I’ve given I know that trans people are no different to anyone else… no different to anyone human… we all have the ability to remember self preservation when we want it, and we can jump and shout and claim we all want to change the world… and equally never do that… nothing wrong with that… just f***ing frustrating 🙂

So while I might share some of the usual reactions like really annoying people writing things in newspapers… I tend to let the people that really get annoyed with that to shout and jump at them, that’s cool, for me I’m looking for the same enthusiasm from people that want to tackle the other real issues out there… health provision, hate crime, domestic abuse, employment, education, bullying… issues that are undoubtedly affected in some ways by idiots that are allowed to write bad things in the media… but issues that are desperately needed to be addressed while others tackle the media angle… and while people get so blinded by numerous reactions to an article then other things pass us by….

So in between the spaces is like from a viewpoint from someone who is seeing things pass by… and hoping and wishing others are out there that want to be beavers… and create dams to slow things down and tackle the tide….

In terms of where am I? Well after the bad experience of hoping I could help breathe some new blood into something already existing I know I want to do something team wise again, I like team working, but it need that enthusiasm and drive to be there from others… the years of people looking for me to say let’s do this are gone… I need to see the spark ignite, I want to bounce ideas with people, and I want to get on and work together on these important issues… cos the clock is always ticking….. 🙂